August 22nd

So here is what I did today. Overall it was a good day. I went to bed too late, so I only got about five hours of sleep before I had to wake up at 7:15. Today was meet the teacher day at my daughter's school, and for her last name and grade level, it was at 7:45am. So we went and met her homeroom teacher, who will be her ELAR teacher, and dropped off her school supplies. MY GOD, that was a nightmare this year. My mom had bought most of her stuff - like paper and binders, etc - that she KNEW Elizabeth would need, but then I went back to get the stuff that hadn't yet been purchased. I have NEVER had to rely on someone else for help with school supplies, or had to limit Elizabeth to what supplies she got. I believe that giving children a positive view of forced education starts with making back-to-school shopping fun. But this year, it was "what's on the list, no you can't have that..." It still cost me $60. And we don't have her band supply list yet.

So then, we came home and took a nap. Elizabeth played Nintendo while I went up to my sister's classroom to help her decorate for the first day of school tomorrow. My sister (Michelle) said she was going to talk to her principal *again* about offering ANY position to me. That was #1 job thing today.

I then came home and started getting ready for my job interview at 4:30pm. I was calling to check on the status of my food stamps (now called SNAP!). I applied last Monday. I know, it's rather shameful when you cannot support your own family well enough to feed them, but it has been one of the ways I have gotten my monthly bills down to $1175, whereas before I was bringing home $3100 each month, and spending it all. I don't know feel a sense of entitlement for them, except for the fact that I have been a tax-paying American citizen for the past 14 years, and I am calling on my government in my time of need. I feel I deserve them more than those people who have never paid taxes, have been on them for years, and are not looking for work or any other way to get out of their situation. I know this is just temporary for me, and its one of the many reasons I proudly pay my taxes. But it still sucks that I cannot support my own family. So this was job thing #2.

Then I called this lady about this wonderful job in midtown Houston. It would be for a woman's half-way house kind of place that helps women remove themselves from substance abuse. I would LOVE a job like that. Yes, I need income, so I need ANY job, but a job like that would have fulfillment! Which is a huge perk. And I could do it! She didn't answer, but I left a message. Did you get my resume, here's my number, blah, blah, blah. #3.

Then I went to my interview. It is at a tutoring place, and this is my second interview there. It was a test case where I helped a little boy with his reading and writing skills while I was being monitored. I went in, did the best I could, felt mildly successful. She said she would let me know tomorrow. I feel good about it, and all, but it would just be a baby part time job. But I would have some influx of money, to pay some bills. If I can just get a check my the end of the next month, I would have a little money. #4.

Also, this morning, while I was waiting for Elizabeth to get dressed, I was checking HISD for a job my friend told me about at her school as the computer aide. She said it was posted, but I found her school's available postings, and that job wasn't there. Maybe it is BEING posted today and will be there tomorrow. I will check again, and probably call her this evening. #5.

One more thing, this weekend, I was talking to my step-mom and she was telling me how she works for the Texas WorkForce Commission. You know I am going to utilize the crap out of that resource. She told me today that she got into my account and tweaked my job stuff to make me more eligible, and gave me pointers on things I need to change myself. And she told me tomorrow to go and talk to someone at my Branch in Houston for additional help. #6

Here's the thing about today. It's just like every other day. I hope and pray and talk to God all day. I fill out applications, call connections, check for updates with things, etc. But here it is at 6:30pm, after business hours, and I am still exactly where I started. Jobless with $855 in my checking account. The hours stretch on endlessly, I stare at my phone, and make lists of things to check up on. I try not to think of Chinese food, and other things I want to eat. I try not to plan vacations in my head, because I don't have the money to go anywhere. So I read, I play Nintendo, I play on Facebook, all the while I am actually trying to figure out ONE more place to apply for a job.